The Post That Got Hijacked...

...by more urgent matters. :-)

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This is what I wrote last Saturday, February 18th, intending to post later that evening:

My blog has been rather silent of late, for a variety of reasons. Number one, blogging is not a priority right now. No offense to you, my faithful readers and friends, but life has been full and I've had some opportunities in the last months that were given precident over blogging. BUT, I am hoping to pick things up again soon. I've got a writing itch to scratch. :-)

This past week, on the 15th, I took Natalia to her 6 month cardiology check-up.

You may remember what a hard time we went through last spring when she was prescribed the first medication we have ever needed to give her for her heart. The two months she was on it were extremely trying...for all of us. (If your memory needs refreshed, here's the link to that post. And if you're not sure what was wrong with her heart in the first place, here's our story.)

Well, needless to say, I asked for prayer for our appointment last week like a desperate woman. Because I felt desperate.

I was desperate for God to change my attitude. The most recent appointment last summer hadn't gone well, my daughter's strong will raising it's ugly head to the point that she refused to let them touch her. Except for the technician who does the ECHO. She gives lollipops and lets you watch a movie.

Was that appointment humbling? Oh yeah. Embarassing? Incredibly! Why? Because my pride was hurt. My daughter's behavior was a reflection on me, and I didn't feel it was justified. I felt like all my efforts to train her to respect authority, follow directions, and be respectful were for nothing. Because I like to see results. Because I like to believe I have some semblance of control over my children. Because I'm delusional like that. I sensed the frustration of those trying to do their job, even though they were being extremely patient, understanding, and creative. And at some point the realization that there was nothing more I could do to get her to comply...well, it just took the wind out of my sails. And though I didn't express it outwardly, I could feel the ugliness rising up inside--where I was throwing a hot and sweaty tantrum.

*sigh*

So you see, I NEEDED prayer.

Most of all though, I had to confess to the Lord that I wanted to change my daughter. And as I prayed last week for God to help me have the right attitude, I really felt he took away the dread and worry, and I knew that regardless of how the appointment went, he would be my strength.

And he was. And the appointment was horrible. But God gave me patience, tenderness, firmness, and wisdom at just the right moments. I was emotionally drained afterwards but I wasn't despairing.

Medical update:
The leaking/spurting from the incision sites (not the valves) has increased slightly from our appointment 6 mos. ago, which had increased since the visit before that. We're still in the mild range, but it's now mild+ and that means we go back in late July and likely she'll try a different medication for the same issue. And that appointment really needs to go well so they get as accurate information as possible.

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So...for those of you who are on facebook, you know Natalia broke her elbow just before bedtime this past Saturday night. We just needed more medical drama in our lives, right?

Long story short: our local hospital has a limited pediatric unit, and though they did the initial x-ray and diagnosis, with Natalia's heart condition and the required anesthesia and surgery to put a pin in her elbow, Pete and Natalia got a midnight ambulance transport to Penn State Hershey Medical.

She had surgery at 7:30am Sunday morning, and I relieved Pete so he could go home shortly before lunch. That afternoon the swelling went down some, she transitioned from the morphine to the Tylenol w/codeine, and began to regain her appetite. I was prepared to spend the night but around 9pm I was wheeling her out the door! Finding a pharmacy that was open was a challenge, but once again God took care of us and within 15 minutes that problem was solved and we knew where to go. (There is only one pharmacy in Lancaster County that is 24 hour!!! And it's relatively closeby.)

By 11pm Sunday we were home, she was tucked in her own bed, and we could finally catch up on some sleep. Pete had gotten 2 (interrupted) hours + a 2 hour nap, and I had slept 3 hours in 40 hours.

God was so faithful to provide for us through it all:
*Natalia was calm on the way to the hospital.
*It was a clean and common break.
*She cooperated for the x-ray.
*She wasn't frightened by the ambulance ride--thought it was pretty cool!
*Surgery went well.
*Pete and I knew the drill regarding the pediatric wing--it didn't feel as daunting as it did when she was an infant needing heart surgery. (Of course this wasn't nearly as serious a situation, but both Pete and I felt more confident in our surroundings and in being Natalia's advocate.)
*Mom and Dad were closeby and ready to help with Adam, transporting cars, etc.
*Peace.
*Pete was willing to take her to the ER and navigate the subsequent medical stuff, and I could concentrate on the recovery part.
*It was a holiday weekend, so both Pete and Natalia had off Monday--and Natalia has an early dismiss scheduled for Friday, so she isn't missing as much.
*Our sofa bed loveseat in the living has been such an easy way for Natalia to convalesce this week.
*She's been a mostly happy patient, not in pain too much, and easy to keep entertained.
*Special visitors, cards, and activities/gifts to make it a fun week while she missing her classmates and teachers.
*Seeing a friend from church in the hospital parking lot as I was getting ready to take Natalia home.
...and so many more reminders that we were not alone, that God was caring for us and supplying for our needs.

Thank you all for your prayers and kindness!

This Season...

...has been busier than I anticipated. Guess I thought life would settle down after we got into the swing of the school year. But life rarely adheres to my expectations. (I know, surprise, surprise.) How comforting it is to know that there is One who is infinitely wise and powerful orchestrating our lives.

Is it just me, or does this time of year seem to be extra "charged"? You can almost feel it in the air. Maybe it's the tension and stress in the people around you that seems more tangible. The holidays are just around the corner, the consumer-driven frenzy seems to have started even earlier (what is up with THAT?!), and to quote the Berenstain Bears, the "galloping greedy gimmies" are on full display. There are days and nights where I just want to stay home and completely shut out the world.

But the world does not go away.

And I am called to be in the world, but not of it.

I am charged to be the hands and feet of Christ to those around me. And if my eyes are open, the needs go on and on and on.

This season has been one in which numerous people in our circle of relationships have had pressing needs...so many are heavy in nature. My heart has been overwhelmed and burdened with the load I see them carrying. I aim to be bold but find myself hesitating because I want the assurance that it'll be the perfect "gift" at the perfect time. I vacillate between wanting to do something to alleviate their suffering, and worrying that I'll over commit myself (and our finances) during this season of already feeling the strain.

Then I remember who my Provider is, and who is the Giver of all wisdom, and I pray.

I pray for the discernment to know what I am to be about, each and every day.
To be lavish in my love towards others, not holding back out of fear or worry or selfishness.
To be wise, and full of faith.
To preserve family time together, and enjoy simple pleasures.
To point to Jesus in all situations, and to teach my children to be looking for Him too.

Lord, help us to be about You and your purposes in this season.

The Rains Came Down As The Floods Came Up

We've had record rainfall and flooding the last few days. Supposedly it's not over either.

Our backyard reservoir is completely flooded, and some of our neighbors have water in their basements, but we have been very fortunate. We have a dry basement and have not lost electricity...very thankful for that! (Especially because we have 2 freezers stocked with meat for the year down there AND our fourth batch of chickies as well! Both would be an investment lost if the basement flooded.)

Some views of our backyard. The water receded a few feet this afternoon. This morning the water was all the way to the treeline and much closer to the houses...

...and that muddy sludge was a river that extended all the way to the left. It reached about a foot from the edge of our flowerbed, which is pretty much level with our house.
My hometown just 10 minutes away has been really hit hard. It has become like an island overnight. Here is a link that shows a number of familiar landmarks (Twin Kiss, Mummau Park) underwater. Schools are closed, shelters have been set up, but so many are unable to get home due to flooded roadways, or stay in their homes because of mandatory evacuations.

Also, about 1/4 mile down the road from our house is this covered bridge that washed away. It is just incredible to see so much water pouring through this area. The bridge, built in the late 1800's, survived Agnes in 1972, but not the effects of Lee. It's so sad to see such historic landmarks gone.

We hope and pray this rain moves out of the area before things get worse. And we think of those whose lives have literally been altered overnight.

It Was Either Take Pictures...Or Cry.

I had just cleaned up a puddle.

A big-girl-I-waited-too-long-because-I-didn't-want-to-miss-any-of-the-video-puddle.

Right in the middle of making something on the stove that I really couldn't step away from.

*** Some of you can see it comin' already, can't you? ***

The culprit was to be napping.

I heard a faint bang of a closet door.

Turn off the burner, set pan aside.

Tend to daughter.

Race up the steps to find dry clothes for her.

*** Earlier that week I had just been singing the praises of the bi-fold door "locks" I had recently bought and how they were saving me SOOOOOO much time and aggravation because the kids couldn't get into their closets everyday. ***

See? Nifty, right?

I open the door and find...(shudder)...T.H.I.S.

I think I whimpered. Like I remember whimpering in the last hour of labor with my children.

My first thought was to melt into a puddle myself. Of tears, that is.

My second thought was "at least it's not poo."

The third, "poo would stink to clean up literally, but how am I to clean up TRIPLE PASTE diaper cream?!?!?! It's like the superhero of diaper rash creams."

So I removed said culprit from the room, stood him in the tub...and shut the bedroom door.

Denial.

It's the only way a mommy stays sane sometimes.

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Three hours later I worked up the courage to open the door again.

And it took three back-to-back washings, powerful laundry chemicals, the grace of God and some really strong coffee to make things right again with the world.

Adam

This post originated right after last Thanksgiving. Yup.

That's when the "blemish" you see in the picture above appeared on Adam's right cheek. At first we thought it was simply that...a blemish or bug bite that would go away. Two weeks later it was just as red and becoming more raised and pronounced. Christmas and birthday season hit and we had well-checks for both kids already scheduled for right after New Years. Running to the doctor for a blemish seemed silly. He wasn't bothered by it at all, wasn't running a fever, wasn't sick...

At first, they thought it was a boil. They drained it, gave us an antibiotic. But it never completely went away. There was still a small hard bump under the surface.

Three additional visits later we were referred to a dermotologist because they didn't know what else to try.

It's now been three visits to the dermotologist, and they did a biopsy of it. Adam was a champ through the procedure which requires a needle to numb it, then an 1/8" circular incision to cut out a piece. He didn't even cry, just one silent elephant tear as they were stitching him up at the end. My brave baby. (The doctor and nurses were SO great, you would have thought they dealt with little kids every day!)

The pathology report just came in Monday. Turns out it is ruptured cyst material, and it is a bacteria that normally occurs in ear and sinus infections. Kind of baffling that it is on his cheek, but they put him on a special antibiotic that should clear it up. We're hoping and praying. (It's been almost 5 months!!!)

These past few months I've been reminded of how much we have to be thankful for regarding our health and well-being. My grandfather has been battling so many health issues following his heart valve surgery last month, and we all are hurting for him and my grandma as they navigate this very difficult season in which things haven't turned out as they were expecting.

Sure we've been in a doctor/specialist's office 10+ times since the beginning of the year, but it could be so much worse! It's been a lesson in dependance as we've not known what we were dealing with. But the Great Physician knows each care and concern. Nothing escapes His notice or comes as a surprise, and He is constantly praying on our behalf to the Father. Isn't that good news this morning?!

Natalia

Early in March, I took Natalia to her annual cardiologist appointment. She did pretty well through the 2 hour visit (EKG, echocardiogram, etc.) and there has always been some leakage from the sites where the two main arteries of her heart were reattached after her arterial switch surgery at 6 days old. And every year when we go for her check-up, the leakage has been about the same.

This year her test results showed more leakage/spurting, caused by slightly tightening arteries, putting strain on those old incision sites. They wanted to put her on blood pressure medication to help the arteries relax. (We have not had any restrictions or medication for her since she came home from the hospital at 3 weeks old--just routine checkups.)

Listed side effects from the medication are mainly tiredness and sore throat, both of which we noticed right away. I guess we just expected the tiredness to be at the beginning...not chronic.

We didn't foresee...the bear. The shortened fuse. Scratch that--the non-existant fuse.

She's a determined and vocal little gal, and has never been shy when expressing herself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. But what I've been struggling with, (since I'm the one at home doing the bulk of the disciplining), is how do I allow for real chemical imbalances, yet viligantly shepherd her heart?

I know I am more prone to put my inner sinner on full display when I am physically feeling low. Especially when it is for days on end. Especially with my closest family members.

This little one has been chronically tired for nearly 2 months, no matter how diligently we get her to bed early. She's been a different girl since we started the medication. Very different.

If this new medication is inducing these changes in her behavior, (the frequent explosions of anger, the rebellion and ignoring correction, the regressing on the potty front--though it seems only at home) then how best do I (we) respond?

We do not believe her behavior is caused by the medication alone--but think it is definately heightening her responses. Increasing them to the tenth degree.

I've been crying out to the Lord for wisdom. To know what questions to ask and how best to navigate the confusing and overwhelming medical scene. (We're dealing with her vital organ, afterall.) For God to quiet our daughter with His peace, and give us wisdom how to discipline her. For Him to instruct my heart as I've grown weary at times, feeling like I'm continually walking through a minefield. And to keep my attitude soft and compassionate towards her, not frustrated or angry because of yet another meltdown over something I deem insignificant.

I suspect that for Natalia, life probably feels out of control. She's trying to keep it together all day long, and then the littlest thing feels like too much. Pray that I openly model dependance on the Lord to her. Pray for healing.

She is our gift, our miracle baby. God has a future and a purpose for her life, and He can be trusted at all times.

A Post In Pictures

These pictures are from this past week...

...a week of remembrance, of laughter amidst sadness, the brilliance of autumn fading as the last of the leaves hang on with tenacity, cherishing loved ones, the purity of a child's smile, and the joy of being busy at home. Enjoy!

Grandpa Lentz and Nana Ruth


The trees at Byerland Mennonite Church were just beautiful.




Grandpa's legacy.


Me and my groom.


My younger brother Joe and his wife Kim. Aren't they cute?


I did get a good pic of my parents, but this one just makes me smile...because they make each other so happy, and that makes me so happy. :o)


Natalia and "Cousin" Hannah. They were immediate buds. :o) You can clearly see their penchant for cheese, can't you?


My newest nephew Eli--isn't he delicious?


My house smelled so good yesterday. (Recipes for White Wheat Oat Nut Bread and Pumpkin Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting will follow soon.)




And a few shots from outside the house this morning.

Leaves of Change

The biggest change came a few days ago. My grandpa said goodbye to his earthly body and is now experiencing glory. I can only imagine what heaven must be like, while I cry tears of sorrow and joy.

I'm anticipating sweet time with family this weekend as we gather, both far and near, to celebrate his life and mourn the hole he's leaving behind. He used to always say, "be sweet" as we'd say goodbye after a visit. And he gave the biggest of bear hugs that left you with the lingering smell of his spicy cologne. I could always count on his regular prayers for me, for Pete, and our children. And I loved the sound of his laugh.

In the midst of my sadness though I've been enjoying the beautiful colors of autumn in our area.

The other morning the kids and I took a walk (it was 70 degrees afterall) and collected some leaves. I love decorating with natural things, and got the idea last year to preserve some leaves by dipping them in parafin wax.

If you're interested in doing the same, here is what I did.

MATERIALS:

about 30 leaves (make sure they aren't dried out and crumbly, or wet)
24 tealights
a clean, empty coffee can
a small saucepan
wax paper


DIRECTIONS:

1. Remove tealights from their tins and pull out wicks.
2. Place coffee can in saucepan, load with tealights (as many will fit), then add 1 inch of water to the pan. ***If you add the empty can to the pan of water before adding the tealights, you'll create a pocket of air underneath the can. Not what you want.
3. Use medium heat to gradually melt wax. (About 10 mins. to melt all of the tealights.) Do not boil.
4. Then, holding leaves by their stem, dip just the leaf portion in the wax, let excess drip off, then lay on wax paper until dry (about 10 mins.).

***You can also use a black permanent marker to write things you are thankful for on the leaves prior to dipping and later clip to a string with tiny clothespins to display.

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Welcome to our home.

Today I am thankful for...

...my husband and children, our home, family and friends, the sunshine and bright blue skies, the free gift of salvation and grace for each day, my heritage, that I can be a stay-at-home mommy, my husband's stable job, good nutricious food to eat, the many years and memories I had with my grandpa, and the hope of heaven.

Coveting Your Prayers

We're approaching Adam's 1 month milestone, and he continues to do well. The challenges have been mostly confined to the rest of us. Pete and I have been wanting to introduce the bottle to him so that when the need arises he will take it. I've been really struggling to establish a supply of extra milk this last week--further complicated by his growth spurt and wanting to feed every two hours some days and then Natalia and I catching nasty colds last Friday. Though Adam's nursing schedule has returned to a more manageable pace, Natalia and I continue to struggle to regain our health.

Please pray for us.

I know that in the grand scheme of things, it IS just a couple of colds, but when you combine it with the physical demands of breastfeeding, trying to protect and care for a newborn, and patiently handle a toddler who is beginning to react to having a sibling around...it's been really hard.

I was encouraged though this morning as I read Spurgeon's MORNING AND EVENING reference to Peter's desperate cry, "Lord, save me!" as he began to sink into the water.

Spurgeon reminds us that sinking times are praying times with God's children and that short prayers are long enough. Our sense of need for Him is more important than our verbiage, and just as the animals hurry to find protection from the storm, we should hurry to the mercy seat, pray, and find our security in Christ. Our situation may change little, but the strong arm of Jesus will hold us firmly in His grasp.

Hold me up, Lord...that's my prayer this morning.

Latest Stats

Yesterday evening this little boy was teasing me...

Around 5pm I began having definitive contractions (not just a hardening belly and then some wiggling from him to confuse me) every 15 minutes for an hour. They gradually worked themselves down to 7-8 mins. apart around 10pm, but by the time I went to bed and finally fell asleep they had fizzled out to nothing. This morning? Nada. Zilch.

I had my weekly checkup at 9:45 this morning at which time the midwife said, "his head is definately all the way down now (YEAH!) and you're at 2 1/2 centimeters (OK), do you want me to strip your membranes? (Um, yes please!)

So now I'm feeling real crampy, having occasional contractions but nothing regular, and waiting. That 50/50 chance I'll go into labor within 48 hours is pending. I plan to spend Natalia's naptime on the couch with a book.

Will keep ya'll posted...

Should I Be Admitted?

I think my hubby was about to admit me yesterday...to the mental ward!!! :o)

What do you think? Was I behaving normally, or would you describe it as last-ditch efforts to go into labor?

I laundered 3 loads, I vacuumed both floors, I mopped the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. I thoroughly washed the living room window, inside and out (Yes, it was 32 degrees outside, but I had an extension handle thingy for that part with a sponge and squeegy so it took only 5 minutes!), and dusted our bedroom.

Verdict?

Hanging In There

"How low can you go?" is how I would describe the state of my belly these days. Though according to my doc yesterday, this little boy still has room to drop...that's hard for me to imagine.

Anywho--she did have some good news for me! Apparently I went from not being dilated at all last Friday to being 2 centimeters! YAHOO! Of course, that's not indicative of labor in the next day or so, but you never know! I was 2 1/2 the day I went into labor with Natalia, but that was 2 days past 40 wks.

When Pete heard the report and came home from school yesterday, he asked if I wanted to go to BOSTON MARKET for dinner. Why there? Well, that was our "last meal" before going to the hospital to have Natalia. (It didn't work...nice try though Honey!)

All in all, everything is ready for the big day and I'm just going about my normal routine. I'm finding my anxiousness is a bit less than last week after not being dilated at all. Now, I'm just trying to enjoy each moment before the big transition to being a family of 4.

We'll keep you updated...

Waiting

Cramping, Softening, But Not Dilating.

That's probably enough information.

I'm praying this Friday's doctor's appointment yields some news of the latter of those categories.

Not Quite Twiddling My Thumbs Yet

I am soooo glad I did my holiday baking and extra meal prep weeks ago...my energy level has just taken a nose-dive!

But there are a few things remaining on my To Do List...

1. Get a haircut and color treatment--folks, the amount of grey was hideous! I told my hairdresser last night that I'd try not to fall asleep in the chair. Two hours later I felt transformed, and ready to go to bed. She has strong fingers and the wash and style at the end was literally a massage...good times.

2. Stock up on household stuff at BJ's: toilet paper, paper towels, diapers for Natalia, laundry detergent, etc.

3. Pack my hospital bag--I've been avoiding it because it means saving a laundered pair of lounge pants that I've practically LIVED in when not leaving the house.

4. Prepare Natalia's things for when we're at the hospital.

5. Clean my refrigerator--it needs a good wipe-down.

6. Knit baby booties. (Just kidding! I have no idea how to do this.)

7. Draft my Christmas letter. (I plan to send it out via email this year--sorry folks if you think that's cheesy, but the finances are tight. Besides, with this blog you practically get a newsletter AND pictures every week.)

8. Take as many naps as possible! (Thank you Lord that Natalia is not on strike from naps this week!)

9. Buy another warm air humidifier.

10. Request some good books from the library. (Any suggestions?)

Mountaintops and Valleys

I've alluded to a particularly difficult situation that Pete and I have been in since mid-July, and while we feel the details aren't appropriate to broadcast to the whole world, I wanted to give an update because I hope it encourages you to trust FULLY in the Lord for whatever you are going through at this very moment.

I was just telling a good friend that the last time I felt this desperate for God to provide and grant us peace was when Natalia was first born, and her health (her life) was completely out of our hands. Let me just say too, that that place is GRACE in disguise. Grace defined as "unmerited favor", and God's kindness to us.

How can I say this? Because I am convinced that God allows trials and challenges to come our way, not in an arbitrary way or because He doesn't care, but because He loves us, desires to grow us, teach us about who He is and who we are; to remind us that He provides for our very breath, wants to bless us, and desires to be our Lord.

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Look at the "titles" I encountered this past week in my quiet time with God, leading up to our big day on Friday. (They come from Charles Spurgeon's, MORNING AND EVENING devotional.)

"Why have you brought this trouble on your servant?" (Numbers 11:11)

"On whom are you depending?" (Isaiah 36:5)

"I will save you from the hands of the wicked and redeem you from the grasp of the cruel." (Jeremiah 15:21)

"Let us lift up our hearts and our hands to God in heaven" (Lamentations 3:41)(speaking of prayer)

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Hmmm...I don't count THAT as merely coincidence.


You see, Pete and I were thrust into a situation in which our integrity was called into question.

False claims were made by complete strangers.

We felt under attack.

The possible financial outcomes seemed daunting (and that word doesn't quite capture it!)

We felt a degree of obligation to speak the truth and defend ourselves...but recognized that it might not be enough, and we might have to "compensate" our accusers and trust that God would somehow and in some way provide for us to do so.

AND, in all of this, we felt that God wanted to increase our faith and trust in Him.



Would our reaction/attitude (when we met in person to try to resolve the matter) reflect our faith and trust in Christ to them?

Though we felt completely justified in our stance, would we be faithful to pray for those who were causing our hardship? To pray for their ultimate good?

Despite the blow to our pride, would we focus on how our accusers were defining us, or find rest in our Savior's definition of who we are?


Well, the outcome of Friday's meeting was extremely hard to swallow. We had NO IDEA how we were going to come up with that kind of cash within a month's time. (Especially with what we could sell, cut from our tight budget, and the interest rates banks are offering on loans these days!) ANYWAY, as we were faithful to pray for wisdom and provision (and even when we weren't) God was bringing about a solution. He was blessing our meager and imperfect efforts at faith and trust, and the end result was exponential!

God used a single source we weren't expecting to cover the full amount!
(THANK YOU! You know who you are!)

The significance of this is not lost on us...isn't God good? :o)

Please Pray

I'd like to ask you all to keep these dear folks in your prayers.

On Tuesday evening one of my high school friend's father, Bob Bruckhart, was struck and killed while riding his motorcyle to a haircut appointment in our hometown. His daughter's wedding is next Saturday. He was just 55 years old.

He was a wonderful family man, a faithful father and husband. His faith in God was strong, and he worked hard as a farmer and salesman to provide for his family. He leaves behind a rich legacy.

The timing of this all is especially painful. If you would, please pray for Sharon, (his wife), Jared (his son) and Mindi Bruckhart, Jonna (his daughter) and her soon-to-be-husband Brent, Jared and Mindi's 3 children, and their relatives and friends.

Lord, please grant them comfort and peace as only You can...

The Bumps Make It Memorable

So, last night could have been a complete disaster...

Pete's birthday is next week and in light of the fact that school has already started for him, I wanted to plan a last hurrah--something he and I could do and enjoy together. I found some great tickets to last night's Phillies game about a month ago and so the plan was to pawn Natalia off on the Grandparents and we'd hit the town! :o)

We headed out early, around 3pm for the 7 pm game, figuring traffic would be heavy and it'd be better to get there early. That ended up being one of many God moments we would experience.

Shortly after exiting the SureKill Expressway (I mean Schuylkill/PA Turnpike) we noticed the AC wasn't working...then a funny smell...then the smoke billowing out from under our hood.
Not a welcome sight!

To make a long story short, we blew a hose and "blindly" exited the highway within a mile of a Pep Boys. How kind of God, right? Two cell phones, 3 strangers, a patch kit, 1 super handy hubby, and a mountain of grace later we were on our way again! We arrived only 15 minutes after the start of the game and as a result didn't even have to pay for parking! :o)

All in all we had a great time and the Phillies smashed the LA Dodgers 8 to 1! Whoo Hoo!

But it just reminded us once again that our lives are not left to chance. We have the ability to make choices, but God is the Great Orchestrator. And He often uses the bumps in the road to teach us more about His character and our utter need for Him.

Trials and Joys

I had another routine appointment yesterday morning. Everything is going really well. The baby's heartbeat was good and strong, about 150 beats, and "he" (it's so wierd to call it "it") was squirming all over the place.

I have been having fluttering and popcorn popping sensations the last few weeks, but now I can definately feel jabs. The movement hasn't been disruptive to my sleep yet, which is nice since Natalia loved to kick and punch me in the ribs when I was sleeping...that will be coming I'm sure. Speaking of Natalia, she is simply loving the idea of being a big sister! She received two "big sister" kind of books for her 1/2 birthday and they are now favorites. She still insists that she's getting a sister for Christmas. We hope to find out on Monday at the ultrasound.

Pete's going with me on Monday, for a few reasons. He, of course wants to be there for the experience, but especially if the baby cooperates and is in a good position for us to check things out. We also will be having an ECHO done to check out the baby's heart in greater detail. Again, this is just precautionary, though doctor ordered, because of Natalia's heart condition.

I'm feeling much better and able to navigate through the world of smells nearly problem-free these days! That's definately a blessing. I'm still tiring really quickly, but that's to be expected and I know I'm especially affected by the extreme humidity we've had recently.

On a completely different note, in the past few weeks Pete and I have had multiple "heavies" come our way, (I already blogged about one of them)...but all are things we can walk through with God's help. We've already experienced great peace and reassurance, but we're human and it still has been a struggle at times. I've found it especially hard to sleep some nights, but it's primarily been because my pregnant body is already waking me. Spending time with the Lord, reminding myself that EVERYTHING that comes to me first filters through God's loving hands and is intended to grow me and/or bring blessing to others and honor Him somehow--this has refocused my eyes and given me great hope even in the moments when I question how that is possible.

One of those things in particular could be of some duration, we just don't know. If you think of us, please pray. Pray for wisdom, protection, and a right attitude, and that God would work in our favor, convincing all involved that our intentions and words are true...and that we would release the outcome to the Lord. He is always Faithful.

A Tragic Ending

Last Wednesday we received some really sad news from one of Pete's former co-workers. One of the guys in his old department, and a good friend, lost his teenage son unexpectedly. Andrew was 16, and apparently just died in his sleep.

The autopsy reports came back inconclusive--maybe the toxology reports in the next week or so will show something, but the disturbing part is that they may never find a cause.

Last evening Pete, Natalia, and I drove down to Reisterstown, MD to see Ed at his son's viewing. It's hard to imagine his grief and what he'll face in the upcoming days and months. We're praying that he'll be comforted by those that love him, but ultimately that he finds peace with God in the midst of this terrible loss.

Please pray for him and their whole family. Andrew leaves behind his mother, younger brother, his father, stepmother and two stepsisters. We think that Andrew might have been the only believer in his family.

Pete often spent a long weekend each of the last few summers backpacking with Ed, and once Andrew went along. That was 3 years ago, but Pete really enjoyed getting to know Ed and his son in that capacity. Andrew had just been saying to his dad recently that he really wanted to go with them again this year--they were hoping to go sometime in August. Maybe Ed and Pete will still go...we'll see.

It's hard to imagine how God can use something as heartbreaking as this for His glory and our good. In the meantime I will set my heart upon believing what is True--

He alone is sovereign,

He is trustworthy,

He alone is the Source of true peace despite the most violent of life's storms,

and He knows intimately what it means to grieve.