Recalculating

I've been wanting to post an update on the 30 day challenges I set for the year back in January. But blogging has fallen by the wayside in the last few months. Things have come up that have been given precident. Things like broken elbows, for instance. :-)

Each month I've tried to concentrate on the particular challenge, and though I didn't meet my goals exactly, it was still beneficial. My husband really appreciated February's encouragment Post-It notes and I noticed the exercise really influenced my words and attitude toward him. Win, win! However, I've been sensing that I need to make my goal for January my only goal for awhile. When I'm taking care of my body everything else just goes better!

The hubby has recommitted to getting up early to exercise too, so that helps me greatly. I'm still working on strengthening my knees by walking, especially while the temp's are in the 30's and 40's before dawn. It's easier on the joints and I don't get shin splints as much.

I have a tangible goal in mind too.

This.

Later in the summer Pete and I are traveling to Poland for his brother's wedding. And this is Morskie Oko, a set of glacial lakes in the Tatra Mountains along the southern border with Slovakia. It's a 2 hour hike to the top.

I've also picked up my copy of MADE TO CRAVE by Lysa TerKeurst again. I had read through it last year, but not quickly, so my attention wasn't as concentrated. I asked my mom to read through it with me this time, 4 chapters a week with a phone call to discuss it on Fridays. I needed the accountability and momentum of reading it with someone.

I've set some very attainable food goals too, though regular exercise is what I feel I need the most. BUT, by limiting my carbohydrates and choosing whole grains, piling on the fruits and veggies, reaching for a handful of almonds for a snack, and limiting my sugar, I'm hoping to shed pounds that way too.

All in all, I just want to be healthy. I want to take better care of the body the Lord has blessed me with. I want to be an example of discipline and self-control for my children.

Onward. :-)

Goals for 2012

I am totally stealing this idea from my friend Briana:

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She writes:
I really enjoy setting goals, especially since becoming a mom. I think because the task of parenting is so incredibly daunting to me most days, and the goal of parenting often seems intangible, difficult to measure and impossible to obtain, I nearly crave goals that are otherwise.

So, at the start of each year, I take stock. As I consider the present circumstances, I anticipate the future possibilities as best I can given all things remain the same (which, of course, we all know they do not!)

To me, 30 days seems more doable than 365...I'm hoping that some of the things I attempt in the following 30 day challenges may just "stick" and last beyond 30 days, maybe even 365 days. We'll see!

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So, thanks to Bri's post (with a shout out to her hubby because it was his idea) I did alittle brainstorming and came up with this:

JANUARY: 30 mins. cardio, 3 days a week; 15 mins. toning/flexiblity the other 4 days

FEBRUARY: affirm/encourage my husband daily

MARCH: write a note of encouragement to someone each day

APRIL: memorize a verse of Scripture daily

MAY: fast from sweets

JUNE: spend 15 minutes daily improving a space in my home or yard

JULY: make raw fruits and vegetables 50% of what I consume every day

AUGUST: select something daily to donate or give away

SEPTEMBER: spend 15 mins. doing something "creative" each day

OCTOBER: affirm/encourage my children every day

NOVEMBER: repeat a 30 day challenge

DECEMBER: write down what I'm thankful for each day

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Day 1 and 2 (Week 1) of my exercise routine went great. I definately felt some unused, hidden, wimpy muscles were being worked. Saturday, Day 3 started out bright dark and early at 6am--a frigid 21 degrees. After my 5 minute warm-up walk I began my first run.

Something didn't feel right. Ouch. What is wrong with my knees?

Just power through it. It'll probably get better if I keep going. It's cold out, but I'm not. This weather is actually invigorating.

Second run, ouch ouch ouch! What is going on?!

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I toughed it out through half of the runs and walked the rest of my 1/2 hour. I was hurting but I just wanted to finish. I didn't think I had pulled anything. I had often struggled with shin splints in high school when I played sports. I always just powered through and then rested.

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6 days later: I've been hobbling around ever since, taking ibuprofen, icing, resting, and it's only getting worse. I finally went to the doctor. I've strained my medial patellar retinaculum-a muscle on the inside of your knee-nothing too serious, albeit painful. I was sent home with a prescription, some exercises to strengthen my creaky ol' knees, and the advice to take extra care to warm up on those cold mornings. Pounding the pavement is hard enough on the knees.

Evidence of God's kindness: the nurse practitioner following the doctor that day shared with me that she knew what I was going through. Active as a teen, she didn't really get much exercise till she started a similar 5k training program at the age of 35, and injured the same part of her knees.

It was the encouragement I needed. I had been wrestling with discouragment all week, wanting to feel better so I could get out and exercise, but being physically unable. Just the fact that I now desired to exercise was evidence of God working in my heart. But I had also been secretly fearful I'd experience a setback in this new venture. I fought to tune out the, "See? Why try? Give up." echoing in my head.

This past week I've come to the realization that I need to trust God even for my body's ability to function and work properly. Silly, because I would have told you I believed God created me and sustained me, but again I was functionally faithless until faced with injury.

I took the first of my medication yesterday, the next dose to come in the morning. All evening I was in agony. I guess it just took awhile for it to kick in. Thankfully it did in the wee hours of the morning because I was literally in tears. This morning when I pulled myself out of bed I couldn't believe the change. I could actually walk! It could still be awhile until I'm back to normal, but each day I feel slight improvement.

Today I am thanking God for many things...that His mercies are new every morning, for reminding me of Truth throughout the lows of this past week, for medicine and the care of the medical community, for a week in which I could rest without too much difficulty in our schedule, and the care and concern of loved ones.

Isaiah 40:31
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint.

Onward...

What's Different This Time...

A few weeks ago I posted on how, in my struggle with my weight, the role of food in my life, and my solution attempts, I've been functionally Godless. I'd recognize that God was the one bringing convinction, but when I'd seek to do something about it, I would proceed in my own strength and wisdom.

For those of you who are wondering why the food we eat has anything to do with God or spirituality, let me encourage you to keep reading.

First of all, one of the things God impressed on me a few weeks back was that He needed to play the central role this time. I've been asking Him to show me how to do that, and what resources I should use. I've been so encouraged and filled with hope because He has and continues to do so.


First of all, I'm using my cravings as a prompt to pray. Praying about our struggles seems like a no-brainer, right? But I never did that when it came to this issue! Now, when I really want to snack on what I'm craving instead of practicing restraint or choosing something beneficial for my body, I pray.

As I've put myself out there and shared, I've had others who struggle with the same thing reach out to me. I never had that before. New friendships are being born and having their partnership and accountability has fueled me.

I found an excellent book to read during my quiet time with the Lord each morning. MADE TO CRAVE: SATISFYING YOUR DEEPEST DESIRE WITH GOD, NOT FOOD by Lysa TerKeurst. Her writing is super honest, funny, and theologically spot-on.

I am thankful for how God has been leading Pete and I to make healthier food source choices in the last few years. While we still have much room for improvement, that part of the equation isn't the biggest issue. My attitude towards food and lack of exercise get top billing. This book has been so very helpful in showing me the deeper, spiritual issues at work in my heart.

My hubby agreed to do the Couch to 5k program with me for the next 9 weeks. It's free, the schedule can be found easily online, and combines walking and running--slowly but steadily increasing your ability to run 3 miles.

Running scares me. Years ago I was super athletic. Now, my unused muscles are protesting and the hills are alive with the sound of groaning. But I'm doing it! Pete is faithfully kicking me out of bed (figuratively speaking, of course) at 5:30am three mornings a week, and I'm lapping my neighborhood in the pitch black dark--my headlamp keeping me from slipping on any ice.

A few quotes from Lysa's book.

"Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?" ..."I had to get honest enough to admit it: I relied on food more than I relied on God. I craved food more than I craved God. Food was my comfort. Food was my reward. Food was my joy. Food was what I turned to in times of stress, sadness, and even in times of happiness."

"Does God really care about our food?" ..."Yes, I think He does."..."God never intended for us to want anything more than we want Him. Just the slightest glimpse into His Word proves that. Look at what the Bible says about God's chosen people, the Israelites, when they wanted food more than they wanted God: 'They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved' (Psalm 78:18). Yikes."

"...a funny truth to share about the healthy eating plan I chose. Basically, I eat what a wild animal eats--meat and things that grow naturally from the earth. Only I cook my food and use manners. I was immediately encouraged by the possibilities of this new eating plan because I have yet to see an overweight animal in the wild lamenting over excess cellulite."

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Thanks for all of you who have expressed that you are praying for me in this area. I truly appreciate it.

Functionally Godless

I love our church. We are incredibly blessed and well-served by our pastoral team, and this past Sunday was a prime example.



Steve Heitland spoke on the Resurrection and Grace of Jesus Christ--the fact that Christ's body actually rose from the dead, AND why that resurrection is vital to the Christian faith. It is the crux of grace. Grace for true and lasting change.



I encourage you to take a listen to his message here. It's alittle over 30 minutes long. The latter part includes a very personal testimony of his, and it was just what I needed to hear. He shared about an area of his life that has been "functionally Godless". I could identify with his struggle so closely.



I thought I'd share a bit of my story with you all. Maybe you can identify. I hope you'll be encouraged and filled with fresh hope, as I am.

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I've always struggled with my weight--both ends of the spectrum.



As a young girl I was thin and very athletic. Around the time that I entered junior high, I began to notice the other girls in my class and constantly compared myself to them. I also took note of the way my figure would attract attention from the boys. I felt so very insecure about every other part of my appearance, but my body was one thing that bolstered my confidence. And it became an unhealthy obsession...idolatry.



I began starving myself. I took pride in how little I could eat in a given day. Yet, I'd experience bouts of depression and would eat for comfort. Immediately afterward, waves of guilt and shame would wash over me and I'd begin the cycle all over again. And I'd lie to everyone who loved me to continue the farce. Later on, I'd come to realize how out-of-control this part of my life was, yet at the time I felt it was something I genuinely COULD control, and that gave me such satisfaction.



Thankfully, after graduating from high school I entered a missions program that would take me to Central America for a number of months, and the spiritual training prior and the cross-cultural experience itself would transform my life. During this season, God graciously allowed me to see my sin, my deception, grant me freedom from fear, and birth in me a desire to live differently. It would be a start in a new direction.



Years later though, I'm married, working, finishing my degree, and then we start a family and I'm at home full-time. I'm putting on pounds and becoming a lot less active. I make goals for myself and quickly fail. I try and give up again and again, feeling hopeless to change.



God's grace was always available to me, and I'd recognize my need for Him when conviction would come after a period of doing nothing. But, as soon as I'd begin my course of action, I'd leave God out of it. I believed He was part of the solution, but functionally I was living like He wasn't. I was depending on my own ability to "get serious" or "put forth more effort". Looking back over my track record it's not hard to see how futile my attempts were. (Besides, I'm convinced that any success I've had doing things on my own has only tempted my heart towards pride and self-righteousness!)



In this particular area of my life, I have been functionally Godless.

(Boy, that is so hard to say, yet it's the truth.)



Today, tomorrow, and the next day, and as many days after that as it takes, THIS is my prayer and resolve:



Because of Christ's finished work on the cross to save me, a sinner, I have the Holy Spirit to help me change. I am powerless to do it on my own.



I am loved and accepted by God, regardless of my failures and successes. But, He is committed to finishing all the good purposes He has for my life, in and through me, and I'm going to cooperate with Him. I'm inviting Him into this area of my life. I'm giving Him control.



Boundless grace and hope for change are mine. :-)

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Pray for me, will ya?

Resolutions

Being a homemaker is one of those job descriptions that is all-encompassing. And it seems there is always room for improvement.

I feel I've grown in some aspects, like cooking. The other night my husband was oohing and ahhing over something I whipped up (especially when he heard I didn't use a recipe) and I blushed and beamed my thanks. You see, when we were first married I knew how to bake cookies and cake, make scrambled eggs, grilled cheese sandwiches, and boil water. You laugh but I'm not exaggerating...much.

So I freely confess that in the beginning, my household management (cooking, cleaning, maintaining) as a whole was at best haphazard. Nine years later and things have definately improved, but I still feel I have much room to grow.

I've become a planner, and my detail-orientedness is a blessing (if I don't get too rigid), but I find I strive harder in the areas I like, and in the areas I don't prefer, I get lazy. Like cleaning. (Oh, to have inherited my mother's love-to-clean gene!)

A few weeks ago I began looking ahead to my Fall and started mapping out my weekly schedule as I do every year at this time. This planning session also helps me get back into a regular routine again, which I like and summer always seems to debunk. As I'm doing this I also identify one or two areas in which I want to grow. Last year it was meal-planning and using the cash-only method for grocery shopping. This year I hope to take a more intentional approach towards the non-weekly cleaning in my home.

I know there are websites devoted to such things as this, like Fly Lady for instance, as well as decluttering and removing the look of chaos from your house. I never liked clutter, so that's not necessarily one of my weak points. MY thing is that whenever we're having guests over I see every little smudge on my light switch plates, dust on the ceiling fans, cobwebs on the baseboards, and I launch into psycho mode. Ya got me?

Now, in the midst of all of this planning I'm asking myself, "Where is the balance? Where am I too uptight and rigid? Too lazy and nonchalant? Are my priorities in line? Am I exchanging what is good for what would be best?"

Still...I need a plan.

Any ideas?

How often do you "deep clean"?

Do you routinely go through closets, pantry shelves, and storage spaces?

Are your deep cleaning sessions short and spread out over the year, or sporadic and intense?

How do you manage those countless "little" tasks that are easily overlooked? (Like wiping out the silverware tray.)

(Long comments welcome!)

25 Things For Summer

Now that I'm into the second trimester, and know that an energy boost is somewhere around the corner, my mind is starting to compile a list of things I want to accomplish before I'm as big as a barn and can't move.

This probably won't be entirely achieved during the summer--I'll be pleased if I get half of it done!

1. Paint the living/dining room
2. --our bedroom
3. --the nursery
4. --the kitchen
5. --the hallways
6. Finish organizing the basement
7. Can peaches and pears for this next year
8. Help my mom harvest & freeze sweet corn
9. Make accent curtains for our bedroom
10. Finish decorating/wall accents in all the bedrooms
11. Find some new dinner recipes
12. Start on a scrapbook for my collection of Guatemala/Honduras Missions Trip pictures from twelve years ago!!!
13. Get a good family photo taken
14. Visit my grandparents more often
15. Read Anna Karenina
16. See a really good movie
17. Take a big load of our old/unneeded things to Goodwill/the consignment shop
18. Organize/declutter the to-be nursery room closet
19. Help Pete set up a new "study" area
20. Get back into an exercise routine
21. Take Natalia to the pool
22. Host at least one dinner party
23. Organize my computer files
24. Scan old pictures and save on a disk
25. Go on at least one day trip (D.C., Philly, NYC)

Well, we'll see how all of this pans out.

I must admit I was sorely tempted to put something on my list that I have already accomplished!!! But I was a good girl. :o)

What are you hoping to accomplish these next few months?

Weekend Report

Well, I'm happy to report some progress once again. Two pounds is better than nothing...or gaining.




On another note, (no pun intended), the musical on Friday was wonderful! My mom, sister-in-law, and I had such a fun time. It's rare that the three of us are together without the kids--okay it's next to never really.

We had plenty of time to sit and chat over a leisurely meal at the Coffee Company before the show. There were two people in the musical that were acquaintances of ours and we were thrilled to see they had lead parts.

First of all, Les Miserables has got to be one of the most difficult musical pieces to take on, so kudos to the Drama department for not shying away from it! I had seen a high school community theatre group in the area do this particular show three years ago and I thought they had done a great job. The male parts have to hit some ridiculously high notes and go back and forth into falsetto. You've got to give props to anyone who attempts them.

I was amazed by how well the LMHS group did. Those that played the parts of Fantine, Cosette, and Eponine--beautiful!!! And of course the guys who played Jean Valjean, Marius, Javert, and the bishop of Digne were really good too. The kids, Young Cosette and Gavroche, were so adorable--to hear them singing brought tears to my eyes. They were so good! Okay, so I cried at a few parts (especially during my favorite songs by Eponine, "On My Own", and her duet with Marius, "A Little Fall Of Rain".) I'm such a crybaby! :-)

I can't forget to say that I completely enjoyed the cleaned-up version, having seen the original. Monsieur and Madame Thenardier were absolutely hilarious and remained true to their depraved selves--just without the "in your face" vulgarity. Still, the utter poverty of society, the desperate plights of the lower classes, the issues of prostitution and crime were not downplayed or overlooked...a hard balance to find to be sure.

What a fun night! I've been singing the songs over and over ever since!

Onward

Well, last Monday I felt great--7 lbs. was more than what I expected.

I ate no differently this week, exercised a bit more, and...I gained a pound. ??????

(Grrrrr)

Don't know what happened. Still, I am determined to keep going. Onward.

Out, Out Blind Spot

I've been an emotional eater for most of my life and have experienced BOTH ends of the spectrum.

From 8th grade until shortly after graduating from high school I starved my body, occasionally binged--and pretty much allowed my emotions to dictate my actions and sense of self-worth. I felt "in control" of this one area of my life...and yet out of control. Without going into a lot of detail about how askew my thinking was, I am so thankful that God softened my heart, allowed me to see my sin, and make a turn in the right direction.

Years later though, I was still stuggling with emotional eating--this time my laziness and desire for gratification were the driving forces. I no longer feared food, I liked it too much. As the pounds grew from a few to more than a few, I would become depressed. I desperately wanted to change, and yet wasn't willing to make the sacrifices. I became an apathetic, mindless eater, yet the disquiet continued in my heart.

I read a book recently that I believe God used to create an "Ah ha" moment in my life. It's called, "For Women Only: What You Need To Know About The Inner Lives Of Men" by Shaunti Feldhahn. I had heard snippets from my mom a few years earlier, and those same things were good to read for myself. My "Ah ha" however came from chapter 8. It certainly helped to jar me out of a pattern of dangerous complacency.

Many men, for example, feel that they "shouldn't" care about appearance, but they do. Many women feel that true love should come with no strings attached, but still, [we] want to be attractive. And while [we as women] were delighted that he liked our looks during courtship, we can find ourselves feeling outright resentful that our appearance still matters so much to him now. [It's a complicated and hypersensitive issue for both partners!]

She goes on to emphasize that,

this subject isn't about being tiny. It is about showing our man that we're willing to make the effort to address something that is very important to him.

I'd like to recommend this book to the ladies out there. I has been a grace-filled eye opener for me, especially in this area of my life. (Obviously, these two quotes cannot FULLY capture the message of her book, just a small part.)

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I mentioned last week that I started counting my daily calorie intake. While it has been a real re-orientation for me, I am THRILLED to share the progress God has helped me make. I decided I would only step on the scales once a week, and since I know I need accountability, I'm going to post my results each Monday. (I must be CRAZY!!!)