Out, Out Blind Spot

I've been an emotional eater for most of my life and have experienced BOTH ends of the spectrum.

From 8th grade until shortly after graduating from high school I starved my body, occasionally binged--and pretty much allowed my emotions to dictate my actions and sense of self-worth. I felt "in control" of this one area of my life...and yet out of control. Without going into a lot of detail about how askew my thinking was, I am so thankful that God softened my heart, allowed me to see my sin, and make a turn in the right direction.

Years later though, I was still stuggling with emotional eating--this time my laziness and desire for gratification were the driving forces. I no longer feared food, I liked it too much. As the pounds grew from a few to more than a few, I would become depressed. I desperately wanted to change, and yet wasn't willing to make the sacrifices. I became an apathetic, mindless eater, yet the disquiet continued in my heart.

I read a book recently that I believe God used to create an "Ah ha" moment in my life. It's called, "For Women Only: What You Need To Know About The Inner Lives Of Men" by Shaunti Feldhahn. I had heard snippets from my mom a few years earlier, and those same things were good to read for myself. My "Ah ha" however came from chapter 8. It certainly helped to jar me out of a pattern of dangerous complacency.

Many men, for example, feel that they "shouldn't" care about appearance, but they do. Many women feel that true love should come with no strings attached, but still, [we] want to be attractive. And while [we as women] were delighted that he liked our looks during courtship, we can find ourselves feeling outright resentful that our appearance still matters so much to him now. [It's a complicated and hypersensitive issue for both partners!]

She goes on to emphasize that,

this subject isn't about being tiny. It is about showing our man that we're willing to make the effort to address something that is very important to him.

I'd like to recommend this book to the ladies out there. I has been a grace-filled eye opener for me, especially in this area of my life. (Obviously, these two quotes cannot FULLY capture the message of her book, just a small part.)

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I mentioned last week that I started counting my daily calorie intake. While it has been a real re-orientation for me, I am THRILLED to share the progress God has helped me make. I decided I would only step on the scales once a week, and since I know I need accountability, I'm going to post my results each Monday. (I must be CRAZY!!!)